In 2007, after years of drug and alcohol addiction I began a long, painful journey to health. After growing up deep seeded in church culture, I was angry with religion and consequently, God. The absolute last place I wanted to be was in a large church setting. But God had a cruel sense of humor. Or maybe he just knew exactly what I needed.

My husband was hired at a fast growing multi-site church. Ugh. Initially I refused to attend. I waited, expecting a backlash. The, “Your wife should be here.” “Why aren’t you more involved?” “If you are going to be employed here, there are certain expectations we have.” It never came...

As I sit here in tears, it should be noted that I seriously considered not posting this. Seemed too divisive. But reading another post by someone I know and love that is at the expense of someone Jesus came for, fought for, died for, has me, well... I recently shared in my post, “Real Love Does Not Ask Us To Change First,” that my life was saved by love that accepted me where I was at; A fully functioning addict. It didn’t shout judgment at me from internet posts. It did not impose harsh criticism. It did not make fun of me. It did not plaster generalizations about my particular proclivities online. It did not use posters and bullhorns on street corners to bring me to Jesus...

I am the chief of sinners. My resume?Thief. Drug Addict. Alcoholic. Liar. Cheater. Gossip. Massive Debtor. Sexually Promiscuous. Etc...

Until someone took the time to learn my name. Love me in the middle of all that. To be a real, live, tangible example of Jesus. That is what, “the greatest of these,” is about. Real love is patient, kind and long suffering.

By the time I was 30 I started to think I might never get married. I was too screwed up. Certainly not deserving. And far too complicated a person to live with. I had nothing to show for but years of bad decisions and an inability to hold down a job...

You heard me. If I know you, it is likely you have been placed in a particular category/region. I call it mapping. Sounds terribly judgmental doesn’t it? Hold your horses. By the time you finish reading this, you may find yourself wanting to do the same. Especially if you find your life filled with drama or crisis and you can’t figure out why. We live in fast paced society. Too fast. And social media has only added to the pace. Our days are filled with hundreds, if not thousands of people, including: family, friends, co-workers, neighbors, acquaintances, fans/followers. So how do we manage them all? For those who already struggle with anxiety or other emotional disorders, this can seem near to impossible. That’s probably why I used to hardly ever leave the house...

When I say hated, I am not exaggerating. While others are able to look back with nostalgia and warmth, I mostly get nauseous. After 14 years living abroad as a missionary kid that had recently attempted suicide, my parents made the decision to move home to Minnesota and enroll me in a public high school. Super. I may as well have been an alien from a different planet with zero social skills and a pension for the awkward. Think Napoleon Dynamite. In China...